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What Is The Going Rate For The Toothfairy?

December 8, 2015

My son has his first wiggly tooth. Before I discuss, I have to first get this out of the way: MY BABY!! BOOHOO!!!! 

Ok. That’s done.

So I went to the bank and asked them for dollar coins so that I may assume the role of Tooth Fairy. As I was leaving one of the bankers said, “You know, my nieces and nephews get $20 per tooth.” 

Excuse me, what?? For a child that has 20 teeth, at $20 per tooth, that amounts to $400 worth of baby teeth. Who does that?  

Can we afford this? Okay we could but is it really a good lesson? 

This is an important milestone into adulthood. But it isn’t an accomplishment. Milestones should be marked with something special but too often we deem money as that something special. I think it cheapens the milestone when it becomes about the cash. 

A recent poll by Visa said that the national average for tooth fairy gifts is $3.40. That’s a random amount to leave under a pillow but I am more likely to conclude that we are about split between $1 and $5. Not $20!  

You have heard me talk about The Opposite of Spoiled by Ron Lieber. He does write about dialing it down on the Tooth Fairy payout and coming up with creative ways to mark this milestone. I just can’t get over a $400 mouth worth of teeth.

Unfortunately, we all know some kids will come to school bragging about their $20 payout and ruin it for the rest of us. This means I’ll have to come up with some progressive way to explain why our kids get what they get.

“In our family, we ask the Tooth Fairy for more modest payouts for this important milestone….” 

Working draft. Open to ideas on that one. 

So here is what we will do in our house since our kids do not want for much and I don’t want this milestone bastardized with materialism: The Morris Tooth Fairy will pay a $1 coin per tooth, plus a new toothbrush, floss, or toothpaste, and some small toy like a Matchstick car for the first tooth. 

What are your theories about the Tooth Fairy? This is new territory for me. 

And once I again I have to say it: My baby!!!!!! How can he be big enough to lose teeth already!? Oh woe is me…..

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