NATALI MORRIS

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Natali Morris Blog

July 18, 2016

How To Combat Gender Discrimination In Your Home

Two weeks ago a man came to give us an estimate for a water softener and filtration system. He asked REPEATEDLY when my husband would be joining us, assuming that I could neither understand nor make a decision about the purchase. I wanted to hit him with a meat mallet.

I loathed this man. Maybe pregnancy is partially to blame but I actively stared at him with hatred. I rarely have this reaction to people so I spent some time trying to figure out why I had such a negative reaction to his very presence.
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I realized that what triggered me so strongly was gender discrimination. This is something I have often had to reconcile in my career but rarely in my own home. I have crafted my message around empowering women when it comes to home finances and important family choices. It was as if this man was shitting all over that narrative right here in my kitchen.

Most people do not balk when having to deal with me when it comes to our finances but there are occasional offenses like this. This is an example of what sociologists call cultural annihilation, diminishing your existence by omission. We simply cannot allow this! We have to realize when it happens and refuse to do business with people like this.

I should have told that asshat that his repeated questions about my husband were offensive and showed him the door. Instead I told him I would call him about his service and I am not going to. I am going to ghost him like he ghosted me. I concede that may not be the most mature path.

I could also call his company and report his behavior in hopes that they have a productive talk with him. That would probably be the more mature path.

Most importantly, I flat out refuse to do business with this person. He was selling a $7,000 job and he lost the sale due to his disrespect. As empowered women, we have to find people who better align with our energies so that we can reach our goals.

I’ve learned in my life not to dwell too much on people who are misaligned in my life. At least I know that in theory. This post makes it seem like I’ve fixated on this person and maybe I have a little. The point is this: when someone makes you and your voice invisible in your own home or when it comes to the business of your family, REJECT IT! Reject it and refuse to do business with those people! That is all! Good day, sir!

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7 responses to “How To Combat Gender Discrimination In Your Home”

  1. Glenda says:

    OMG! I just went through this with a plumber! I was so angry and upset that I allowed this man to make me upset. After all, who was he? I used another company for my plumbing needs. He really got under my skin. I like this REJECT IT theory. I will have to keep that in mind for any future asshats :)

    G

    • That is my reaction exactly! I don’t think I realized how mad I was until he left. I wish I had said something outright. It is hard to realize how triggered you are in the moment.

  2. maria garcia says:

    Nat , your very out spoken ,you should have told him to his face. you have a gift with words , use them….

  3. RedwoodCitytoNJ says:

    I hope you did not pay 7k your water softener and filtration system. I installed a Culligan whole house water softener, and a kitchen filtration system costing 2.8k which includes installation of both units, two bi-pass connections for my sprinkler system, and six months worth of salt.

    • No we didn’t! We actually used Culligan too and are really happy with it so far! It was less than half for the whole-house system but we also got a reverse osmosis system for the kitchen so that added to the cost. It was a great experience other than the fact that the installer spewed the virtues of Donald Trump to me and I was just not in the mood to tell him how that man repulsed me. But I digress…

  4. Tim says:

    Sales people are trained to have all decision-makers in the room otherwise a sale is unlikely to happen. A typical strategy by prospective customers is to hear the sales pitch and then say, “I’ll have to talk to my spouse and then I’ll give you a call back.” Seems this salesman wasn’t good at closing the sale with only one decision-maker available.

    • I understand that and I tried to make it clear that I could make the decision alone but I guess this guy did not get the picture. Lesson learned for both of us, I would hope.

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